I haven't been very grateful lately.
I've always been basically happy with my life. Even when we've been unemployed, when we've been seriously ill, and when we've had to go without. Even then, deep down, I've been able to say that I'm happy. Because I've always tried to appreciate what we have.
I've struggled a lot since Isaac quit his job last summer. When he decided to go back to school, I knew (and still know) that it was the right thing to do. I hoped I'd feel better. We'd been students before, and we'd been fine then, right?
I don't know if I was living in a bubble when we were students before, or whether this time is truly different. Maybe a little of both.
And don't get me wrong--we've had some beautiful, wonderful days since then. But lately...beautiful and wonderful have eluded me. All I've been thinking about is how much I would change my life if I could. About how much we don't have. And about how much I can't do.
But then, last night, I looked around myself and realized that I have more now than I've ever had before. My life isn't what I expected it to be right now, and it's different from everyone else's my age that I can think of. But everyone else's lives don't matter. I have what I need for now.
Like President Monson was quoted as saying in this last General Conference, it's better to look up.